Beauty From Disaster

BEAUTY FROM DISASTER by John S LES

Everyday in life we are challenged by life itself.  Not all of us face the same challenges, and not all people react the same to some of the same challenges.  Whatever challenge that may be easy for one young man to solve, may be difficult for his own brother to resolve.

That being the case, how can we ever expect for two completely different people to react the same way in resolving a common problem?  When a physical or emotional trauma strikes someones life, sometimes we take for granted that these traumatic experiences can be overcome.  Sometimes they can.  Sometimes they cannot.  Sometimes they simply continue to affect us in ways that we cannot understand for the rest of our lives.

Yet life demands that we find a way to survive.  Survival is how we all got here.  Someone before us, in our gene pool had to overcome something in order to survive and our present existence is based on that forefather's survival.

The picture above could simply be perceived as cute, or funny or ingenious.  It is a real picture taken from a house near my neighborhood.  My perception of this picture is that I see a home residents in love with keeping their once gorgeous tree alive on their property.  But in order to survive new construction around their house, they had to adapt.  Rather than cutting the tree down, they carefully constructed their home fence through the tree.  It was a beautiful idea...up until a year ago when hurricane Sandy struck.

Soon thereafter, Sandy destroyed what was left of their once magnificent tree.  Rather than lament about the final loss of the tree, the homeowners adapted and made the tree into a beautiful and unique three tier flower pot stand.  To the bitter end, they have found meaning in a tree that they loved so much.  Such a simple example, yet so many ways that it's genius can be recycled throughout our lives.

It is said that when life give us lemons, we make lemonade.  When life throws a negative or disastrous challenge in front of us, we have to remember to work and recycle that negative back into a positive and productive outcome.

Love can come and go.  No matter how long love lasts, a week or a lifetime, it will always end sadly in this life.  It is up to us to give our loves and our losses positive meaning and develop the understanding and appreciation of the positive impact of that experience.

Where Did Romance Go?

No matter the time, no matter the day
It seems that romance has lost its way
We no longer learn the dance
Of love, excitement and a little romance

We now say words like "age, sex and location"
Feels like our brains have taken a vacation
I'm one for wine, dance and song
I like affection and romance all day long

I want to hold her hand, feel her tender touch
No matter if we Waltz, Freestyle or Tango, she will never slip from my clutch
When she tires, I shall hold her steady
This is our night, and we've been ready

What about a dinner, a movie, a stop at a diner for a late night pop
Let the laughs about the movie and dinner never stop
When we kiss, we stared in each other's eyes
That we truly love each other should be no surprise

When it's time to turn out the lights
We shall turn on the music and enjoy some passionate heights
When she sleeps I will whisper in her ear...
That I want to love her for a thousand years...

Mother...

Mother...

She gave her love and her energy to everywhere we went
Yet we forget just what "mother" truly really meant

She cooked the meals, she dressed the kids
She folded the laundry, she closed the lids

She taught you your names, she went to games
When you were sick, or bad, she loved you the same

She was always on her feet, and the last one to eat
She's oh so special and oh so sweet.

She was smarter than your older sister or brother
And as tough as dad...
she was the best mother you could ever have.

Break Ups and Our Better Judgement

There is no such thing as a permanent break up
unless there is death.  Death is indeed permanent.
Therefore, all other alternative endings are left up to our
better judgement.

"Genius Of Love" by John S LES

The Genius Of Love
by John S LES

for my friend F in Iran


They say doctors, mathematicians and scientists are too busy for love
That they are too caught up in their work.
However, being a genius is a gift from up above
So these are only the words of those who don't know, or some jealous jerks

You see love is for everyone...the young, the old, the deaf and the blind
Love happens at anytime, any place...from within...
and even outside your own kind

Every living being on Earth needs companionship...
a touch from someone, something else
No creature can tolerate forever just living and loving only thy self.

From the smallest little mouse,
to the the millionaire in a great big house
Everyone needs contact, an outreach from someone who inspires something inside of them.
Some get so desperate they will make a lifetime lover of a demon, or worse -
and end up living in sin.

I say that the genius of love is not about how smart you may be
Or how smart you may be not
All it matters is that you give to life and love everyday,
And give it all you got.

Whether you are a carpenter or a rocket scientist, I know this much is true
Love is for everyone, no matter your wealth or intelligence -
For if you find it, cherish it - it is a blessing from God to you.

"Hidden Gem" by John S LES

Hidden Gem
by John S LES

Most people don't know that she's my friend
But I can tell you that she is, my Hidden Gem
Most people hope to find someone they can depend on
When I say I need help, she says when
That's how I know I have a hidden gem.

She lives a half a world away
But always there to help every day
Never complains and encourages
ideas in every way.
Her vision improves every word I say

Most people wish that they could have such a friend
Think positive, do positive, be open to positive and you'll know when
You'll be blessed to have a Hidden Gem.

Where Is The Love?

Where Is The Love?
by John S LES

Tell, me tell me where is the love?
Didn't we see the message from high above?
We have forgotten how to show love.
We just don't do it anymore
We all focus knocking our brother down on the floor

Where is the love?

Everyday we're living in shame
We continue to curse each other and finding blame
Yet we never get to the real source of our pain
You say you know everything that's going on
Yet you can't see that you're just a pawn

Tell me where is the love?

We're all calling for something in God's name
Yet we use our brutality instead of our brain
We keep going until the hate creates more blood stains
We let small minds control us in the hater game.

Where is the love?

Everyday what are we thinking of?
Is all because we forgot the power of love?
Takes greater strength to forgive a man
Gives you greater power when you know you can
You don't lose strength when you show just where you stand
That's how you know you're closer to God's master plan

Where is the love?  The love, the love...

"Love Sick" by John S LES

Love Sick
by John S LES

I woke up this morning and couldn't get out of bed.
My heart was still hurting from the thoughts inside my head
I want to heal really fast, can anyone tell me what's the trick?
Is this a case of Love sick

I woke up this morning, I had a heartache for some time
It was deep in my heart yet burning in my mind
I tried to say something but my throat was getting thick
This was clearly a symptom of being Love Sick.

I woke up this morning, I didn't feel well at all
I never dreamed that our love would take a fall.
All I do is think of you me and trip
I don't know a doctor who can heal this Love Sick.

My heart is broken, it feels like shattered glass
It feels like this pain will never pass.
I feel like a sail without a ship
We had to end it all and now I'm Love Sick

I thought our love would always last
Like a car on the highway to love it ran out of gas
We threw caution in the wind and tried to make this love stick
But now I lay in an empty bed and I'm Love Sick

They say that love is never ever for sale
But we both paid on an emotional scale
When we lose the dreams from our youth.
Time has proven that's the truth
As life turns our grey skies blue...

I'll never love a love like that again
Friends say there will be another - I say when?
But if I ever do love again, I know I won't be too quick
Because I never want to experience this pain...this Love Sick

To Be Without Love

To Be Without Love

by John S LES


To be without love
Or not to be
To look at the sky above
Not within me.

I know I give love
That's a part of me
I have received love
That's comes naturally

To inspire love
That is a work of art
It can stroke your ego
Or it can tear your soul apart

Sometimes you feel lonely
Sometimes you feel left to the side
Those are the times
When we have to surrender our pride

Love from others is precious
But it is a gift that sways back and fourth
One day it leans south, east or west
One day it swings true north

The moment we say we're dying of thirst
For the person we say we want to love
Who were we really thinking of first?
Who is the one we're truly thinking of?

Love from another can only be shared
Love comes from the heart and soul
Of someone who truly cares

So stand fast, stand tall
And just keep love in your heart
Because it is true
That is where true love all starts

If you love yourself first
all will see
It enshrouds you like a shirt
And that is the start to living happily.

Then love will come to you
Like magic in the air
So stay humble to yourself
Cause soon enough it will be here.

Rosy Eyes

"Rosy Eyes"

by John S LES (originally written in my college journal 1/29/85)


Rosy Eyes can help and hurt
they see the clean sides
and not the dirt
They see the good things
not the bad
These are sometimes the best eyes
that one can have.

The rosy eyes of a innocent little girl
The flowery visions of her rosy world
The rosy eyes of a smiling little boy
To him the world's a playground,
We're all his toys

Those rosy eyes must sleep at night
They'll wake up in the morning - absorb the light
These rosy eyes are just for now
They grow up fast, before you know

Those rosy eyes will see one day
Life is good and bad, everyday
Those rosy eyes will see the pain
That we'll all face, through sun and rain

Those rosy eyes will one day see me pass
But for now let these good visions...last

Orange You Glad

Orange You Glad?

by John S LES  (originally written in my college journal, June 1984)


My taste is sweet,
My tan is gold
My dress is conservative
But my scent is bold

I rejoice in my days
So short do I have
So why should you ask me
"Orange...you glad?"

Love and Unity

A theme song from me and my group, in a summer camp prior to college.  It was in the tune of Michael Jackon's "I'll Be There"


"Love and Unity" July 1984


You and were meant to be
Living here with love and unity
Just call on me, Love and Unity

Can't you see that we're a family,
If you believe in love and unity,
If you believe, then you'll succeed

"If there is no love, there is no unity.  Those who profess unity, yet depreciate love are men who want friends without responsibility.  They want personal gain without emotional pain.  They want personal greed in spite of collective need.  Love concedes nothing without demand.  It never has and it never will."

We will make salvation last
Just like our people did it in the past,
Just call on me, Love and Unity

She's Mad At Me

She's Mad At Me

by John S LES

She's mad at me, it was plain to see,
because her anger was stifling
there's nothing I can say that will make it right
But I will try even if it takes all night

They say Hell has no fury like a woman scorned
My father taught me that from the day I'm born
But this here is not that serious
It's an old argument between the two of us
At the end of the day I was wrong
She tried to tell me, but I took too long...
In seeing her side
I've got to give up my pride...
And apologize...
Make her angry and sad eyes...
Smile again.

Goodbye My Son...

Goodbye My Son
by John S LES


Goodbye my son...
Although I made you...I cannot guide you...because I cannot guide me.


Goodbye my son...
Although I loved making you, I cannot remake the inside of me...

Goodbye my son...
Although you are here, I cannot accept the responsibility...

Goodbye my son...
Although I gave you no choice, you'll have to grow up in spite of me...

Goodbye my son...
Although I love you, it's not about you...I know it's hard to understand...

Goodbye my son...
Although I am grown...it's not the little boy in front of me...it's the broken little boy inside this man

"Rules, Contracts and Hearts Are Made To Be Broken..." by John S LES

Rules, Contracts And Hearts Are Made To Be Broken...

by John S LES


Everyone knows the rules...
Everyone knows the way...
That for every rule that is...
There's a rule that's opposite and will get in the way

It's like having a contract that holds you to a promise
It's like a heart that holds you to love
Except that contract favors the other party,
While you pay them with your blood.

It's a like a lover who said this love was forever
Then over time, they love you close to never
You stand there wondering where's the pleasure

A wise man once told me - use the notion of this token
there comes a time in life when rules, contracts and hearts will be broken
When you've sacrifice your love, your blood, your sanity
When you've notice the other party's disrespect of your humanity

The human spirit cannot be enslaved to blind devotion
Only death is stagnant, growth is always in motion
The truth shall rise above the chains of our youthful and trusting minds...
We learn from our mistakes all the time...

We must be swift and make the change on the run...
Your heart  will tell you when that change must come...
So remember these words...and boy I'm not joking
Rules, contracts and hearts were made to be broken...

Is Love Everlasting?

When she walked into that dark room, it was as if the sun had entered.

She looked over at me and there was an instant connection as she could see the energy beaming off of me.  The connection was immediate.  We were two different planets emitting our own bright light of energy, gravity and attraction of others.

But our singular attraction or gravity towards each other that gave our love to each other it uniqueness.  It was a connection of our hearts, our minds and our breath.  From that moment on we didn't want to be as connected with anyone else as we were with one another.

When you are connected like that, all of your feelings and emotions come from within your body.  You feel your soul being affected.  You instantly and naturally become concerned with the life and health of the person  in front of you.  That feeling becomes as natural as inhaling a breath of fresh air.

You realize that being in love with this person, having such strong emotions and spiritual attachments is rare and illusive thing in the span of our lives.  You want to be with that person.  So...you become attached.

Then life goes on.  You either grow together, or you grow apart.  We all grow in different rates.  We are all effected by the challenges of life along the way.  Either way, without the proper nourishment or the loss of focus, or both that feeling of ultimate closeness withers away until it is gone.

What was once a rare and unusual attractive moment in your life is now and old and cumbersome emotional burden that you tote around.  Or so we think.

A former co-worker of mine, who has passed nearly ten years ago was a World War II veteran.  His wife, was a teenage, POW from the French Resistance during the war.  He was her American soldier who helped rescue her.  Once they got back stateside, they married and had kids, etc.  It is a beautiful love story.  A real life Hollywood movie love story.  When they were together, you could just feel the decades long connection of love that they had together all the way to his death.  Their love for each other was never a burden.  It was in fact, an enhancement to their lives.  She is still alive, working, living and going on about her life.  However, you can still see how his passing still affects her heart today.  She fills and occupies her life with part time work, her children and grandchildren and memories of her beloved.

We don't know when we're going to leave this world.  We have no predisposed notion of that time.  We need to take the time that we have to live, love and rejoice in the positive things and people that we have around us.  Our time together could be a minute, a year, or 100 years.

Love is a gift, a blessing, that has no guarantees attached to it.  If you do not nourish it, just like any other living organism, it will wither and die.  But when you nourish love...it lives long after we are gone.  Love is everlasting.

Be More!

Don't just be a man.
Don't just be a woman.
Just try to be a better person!

"Wherever You Go" by John S LES

"Wherever You Go"

Wherever I go, I'll take you with me
No matter where I stop, that's it will be.

Wherever you are, I'll take you with me
Cause your spirit, means that much to me.

However you are, I'll take your love with me
I'll look to the sky and watch you fly right over me.

Wherever you go, no matter how far
I'll be there soon enough, we'll be together,
that's the way it should always be.

A Kiss...by John S LES

It all just started with such a simple kiss.  But it was more than just a kiss.
It was a cloaked attraction that tried to deflect the reality of what we really felt inside.

Perhaps it all really started before the kiss?  Perhaps it started many years before in our minds and our hearts?  A vision of how someone we truly love might look and feel to us when we met them.

Then came that one moment in time.  That one chance in a lifetime.  With just our eyes, we knew. When we kissed hello and good bye it was well past a simple feeling.  It was a reality.  The reality of wanting to feel her lips kissing mine, and not just the side of my face.

Wanting to feel her body close to mine.  Feeling her heart beating with mine.


Email: NYEastside.Info@gmail.com

To My Readers...

To my new friends who have been reading this blog more in recent weeks...thank you!

You can always email me at NYEastside.Info@gmail.com with questions, comments or a personal picture of some inspiration of love that you might want me to write about.  I would love to hear back from you.

  

"Together...But Alone..." by John S LES

Together...But Alone...


What is it to be together, but alone?

Four friends sitting together on a couch.
Each one of them using their electronic devices to text someone else.

A couple out dining together with friends.  They walk in together, but rarely say a word to one another.
They simply engage with others completely separate.  You only see them together when they leave.

Two siblings in a room, pouting over who got more than the other...instead of just learning to share what they both have.

People sitting on a crowded bus or train trying to avoid eye contact...worrying only about getting to their destination and not if a pregnant woman, or injured person has boarded the bus and needs the seat.

A woman with her family, but all she is to them is their caretaker - that they'll never give back to.

A man of his own house, reduced to a man in the corner of the house and whose voice is never respected.

People who work at a company for years, but couldn't tell you whether the person working across from them was married or single.

A disabled kid left behind by his able bodied friends as they go to the park to play.

In the age of the ultimate connectivity of mankind...there should never be anyone who feels alone.  There should never be a fear of saying hello to a neighbor...even if that neighbor is 8,000 miles away.  Aren't we all part of the human family?

Today there should never be a man, woman, child or grandparent who feels left alone or left out...when we have Skype, Tango and ooVoo.

If we all started from one seed and spread out...look at how history keeps bringing us back together.
In spite of the fear of strangers and self-righteous and self-serving, murderous behavior among us - we still have the innate need to reach out to one another.

The only thing to truly fear is the lack of growth and evolution within ourselves.  Reaching out to others always helps that growth process.

Ironically, that common need to reach out...is what really unites all of us.  We just need to relearn how to do it peacefully, respectfully and fearlessly.

"Sad Eyes" by John S LES

Sad Eyes...
by John S LES

I see your sad eyes
They are strangers to me
I saw the tears flow and let them be
I prefer to see your eyes oh so happy
What can I do to make the pain go away
This is not the you that I see everyday
You are the one who brightens my life in every way
Please hold my hand and just try to smile
Or let me just hug and hold you for a little while
Leaving you alone now is not my style
Whatever it is, it will pass
Pain like this will never last
Lean on me, I'll be your other half

These sad eyes are a stranger to your face
Your sadness seems so out of place.
No matter the heartache, my angel just remember that I'm here
Your heart has been broken, that much is clear
Please let my love dry all those tears...

"Blue" by John S LES

Blue
by John S LES


What was this, you wore something new?
You wore some lingerie in a baby blue

Blue looks beautiful on you.
Blue reminds me of the ocean view
Blue reminds me of a beautiful sky
Blue reminds me of how blessed am I.
Blessed to see that blue on you.

Blessed to see how radiant it makes me and you
Blue like the music we listened to
Blue like the bed sheets we slept on last night
Blue like my heart felt our last fight.
Blue like when I leave you or we don't talk

This blue had lace and it had strings
This blue will now also have memories of our romantic things

Well tonight you can turn the clock back
Try something lacy in basic black
But if your heart feels different from your head
You can wear something in passion pink or purple...or velvet red.

I promise if you wear your lacy white
Just come to bed I'll turn off the lights

At the end of the day it really isn't about the color blue
It's just your sensuality, our chemistry and the fact that I just love you

"Sleeping Beauty" by John S LES

Sleeping Beauty
by John S LES

I awakened in the middle of the night to hear you talking in your sleep.  I felt your head on my arm and you curling up next to me.  Even in your sleep I could see how beautiful you are inside...even in your sleep.  I could feel how warm and open your heart always is to people.  So beautiful.

It made me think back to where I was before this moment.  All I could think of was that no matter all of the riches in the world, nor all of the material things gained...nothing could equal this moment with you.  You cuddling with me, asleep and exposed...yet still so perfectly beautiful.  I realize how lost I was before I met you.

Your voice, your thoughts, your rhythm has been a guiding force, a positive influence upon the spirit inside me.  A light in the darkness and business of life.  A beacon of understanding.  A safe place where I can be me and exhale because in this place there is no fail...there is only love, peace and companionship.

So as you lay here by my side and I hear your voice and feel you nestling up to me, I am even more happy that you are happy and feel safe to be sleeping here with me.

"Moon Shine" by John S LES

Moon Shine
by John S LES


I see the moon shining over the ocean on a clear summer night.  My love...she is away overseas.  But, I can feel her thoughts.  Just as I can see the rays of the sun bouncing off of the moon, and then those rays reflecting into the ocean, I can feel my lover's thoughts for me.  I can feel her heart and her thoughts radiating over the horizon and bouncing off of the moon and onto me.  All I have to do is use my mind to reach through the uncertainty and murkiness of the darkness and distance.

We just have to use the silence and stillness inside our thoughts to truly hear the voice of love.  The voice of love knows no boundaries.  It can travel through billions of miles and stay alive through millions of years.  That one ray of love and hope knows no end until it finds its target.

Just look at that ray of love coming from an object billions of miles behind you and reflecting off another object before it finally lands on the ocean in front of you.  Look at the peace and serenity it brings you when you stare at a picture of it taken many, many days ago.  Only love can have such everlasting power.  It's power over hatred and evil.  It's power to travel past stars, planets, continents and oceans.  Moon shine is Sun shine and Love is like Sun shine.

Even if you have no love in your life...know that that the power and love of God are always shining on you...day and night.  Just look at the picture and see it...

"If My Love..." by John S LES

If my love lived across the sea...
What a world class swimmer I'm sure I'd be.

If my love had slipped my hand...
I would never stop searching for her over sea or land.

If my love does kiss my lips...
I will savor the taste as if they were honey dipped.

If my love does take my heart...
It will forever be till death does us part.

If my love does ask for child...
I will give her anything, let our hearts run wild.

If my love does stay and grow old...
I will love her with all my body, mind and soul 

If my love dies before I wake...
I pray to the Lord for two souls to take.

"She Was Captivating" by John S LES

She Was Captivating
by John S LES


When she entered the room, she was captivating.  Her mere presence filled the room even though she was quiet and kept to herself.  She was tall, with these big, almond shaped, gorgeously intense blue, gray eyes and an hour glass figure.

Her eyes reminded me of the color of the sky when you looked out to the ocean during sunrise.  Her shoulder length, wavy and curly brown hair alluded to the free, yet wistful inner spirit inside her.   Her lips were full and so perfectly shaped not even the most talented surgeon in Hollywood would even dare try to recreate this face.  This face was beyond their talents.  This face was a gift from God.

Some people say that the eyes are doorways to the soul.  Her eyes were the doorways to an incredibly creative and deep spiritual ocean.  Her natural facial expressions created an air of aloofness and mystery, yet she was very keenly aware and connected with all of her surroundings...except for me.  I just couldn't wait until she came over to my bar and ordered a drink from me.  Working at this hotel in the Bahamas allows me to see some of the prettiest women from all over the world throughout the year and even more so during the vacation season.  But this one was different.  Her beauty wasn't just from her unique looks.  Her beauty came from something far deeper than just her features.  Her beauty was from deep inside.

She didn't belong here.  She belonged in an old Humphry Bogart movie with a music playing behind her from "Lily Was Here"

She ordered a margarita, which I made in no time.  I could smell the perfume she was wearing.  It was very alluring and exotically perfect for her.  It was called Alien.  So intense.  So sensual.  Just like this woman in front of me.

I said a few things about her vacationing here in the Bahamas that made her laugh.  Her smile and laugh was infectious.  You could see the vulnerability of her bigger than life heart and so be able to make her laugh gave you some joy as well.

She was curious about traveling to certain restaurants outside the hotel and I was more than happy to tell her about some of my favorite ones.  Just as I was about to tell her, another tourist came riding by on a jet ski on the water channel by the bar and I could no longer hear her...

And that was when I woke up on my plane.  I was still on my flight going back to Europe.  That's when I realized that the smell of the Alien perfume of the beautiful woman sitting next to me had influenced my dream.  But she was still fast asleep now.  We had some small very engaging conversation before we both fell asleep.  I'll be looking forward to chatting again before and after we land.

If I'm lucky...maybe, just maybe...I'll even get to have that dinner with her...

"Scent Of A Woman" by John S LES

Scent of A Woman
by John S LES

There is nothing that can bright up a room more than the scent of a woman.  Whether it is her perfumes or body chemistry - I can say that I've lived long enough and been in and out of rooms inhabited by both men and women, and the truth cannot be hidden.  Women overall can brighten up a room.  They definitely leave less foul body odors than men in a room.  That's not to say that all women are perfect and clean.  Not at all.  It's just to say that women sweat less, clean up more, and deodorize rooms more often than men, and therefore truly "brighten" up a place.

Cheers to women on this earth to counterbalance us men!

"The Unconditional Love And Compassion" by John S LES

Ever look into the eyes of your dog or cat and see the unconditional love that they express towards you?  I am bewildered why we can't get that same kind of unconditional love, compassion and trust from each other...even when we disagree.

In my lifetime, I have owned an array of pets, a list which includes no less than koi, goldfish, parakeets, gerbils  hamsters, toads, salamanders, turtles, dogs and cats.  I've also had friends who've owned monkeys, iguanas, snakes, rabbits, guinea pigs, ferrets and horses.  That is a fairly broad range of animals to have as pets.  What amazes me is that in just about every animal listed, when you observed the animal's behavior around a person it had affection for or trusted - those emotions were always very clear and distinct.  In some way this particular person was the person they looked to as mother, father, protector or family.

Over the Internet there is a video of a lion in a cage hugging a woman through the bars of the cage.  As the story that goes with the video, the woman had rescued this lion in the wild from near death.  Nursed it back to full health.  After a period of time, she turned the lion over to a zoo and did not see the lion again for some time.  Then, after some time had passed she returned to visit the lion and the video shows this lion clearly reaching through the bars of his cage, pulling her forward and literally hugging this woman like a baby hugging it's mother.

Then after I watched that video, I read a simple news article on the Internet, and after the article there is commentary.  After maybe one or two initial nice remarks, the commentary immediately degenerates into some hateful, racial, political, sexual and divisive conversation.  Gone was the ability to give a thoughtful and free comment.  Now all these "opinion experts" were running amok with their vile and personal attack commentary.  It is shameful. 

Mankind has the extraordinary ability to build a computer, to construct an Internet, to create the power, wired and wireless resources to run it all - yet we don't have the simple compassion to communicate to one another about a differing opinions, awareness or experiences - without trying to crush or tear someone opposite of us apart.  Is it a sign of weakness to speak towards someone with respect even if they have a different or opposing opinion to you?  When it comes down to it, does a man and a dog opinions differ all that much when it comes to seeing a cooked steak or the wagging behind of their female opposites?

Yet you put two opposing strangers in a comments section of an Internet article and the conversation degenerates into something like two pit-bulls fighting in a ring.  Even in that sad and cruel example of two pit-bulls fighting, you have to know that someone is pulling their string, egging them onto this barbaric fight.  I have to wonder who or what is egging on the people in the comments section of an article on the Internet?

Alas, before my own brain becomes darkened after reading such social vitriol, I usually just close that Internet article and go to another page.  When I'm done reading, I turn to my three "man eating" Rottweilers (who are always sitting or laying somewhere near me) and look into their eyes.  When they look back, they re-energize me and remind me about the single most important thing in life: unconditional love.

Mind, Body and Soul...

Recently a friend said to me that we see love on display everywhere.

It is on television, it is in songs, it is movies and even tied into many things that we purchase..from the mundane to the luxurious.

Love is all that we need.  Love is right there waiting for us.  Love is out there and all around us.  We become intoxicated with the idea of having it and receiving it. 

However, the reality is that few people are willing to give love, to trust love, to share real passionate and caring love to one another.  Perhaps it is from all the wounds and damage that we suffer along the way in life?  Perhaps we just get too traumatized and damaged to trust someone else.  Or perhaps we ourselves don't truly believe in love and therefore can't really give it in the first place. 

When we are 16 and in love, and we say to someone we love "I need you." How does the power of such a simple statement change as we grow older?  By the time we are 26 years old, are we more or less likely to say "I need you"?  What about when we are 36 or 46, or even 56?

Time and the damages of life does influence us.

We need to keep a fresh mind about life.  We should try not to allow negative thoughts and stereotypes to influence our opinions of an individual.  We need to always learn to assume nothing about them.  Instead, we should  try to explore who they are as an individual and work with their energy.

When two flames are placed on one candle, the candle burns twice as bright, but only lasts half as long.

When one candle burns midway into the other candle, you shorten the life of one candle and could possibly extinguish the life of the second candle with the spill over.

However, when two flames from two candles are brought together they burn a brighter light and last a normal lifetime.

These examples of working together to become better works this way in all of our relationships.  With family, friends, coworkers...and especially the person we're in love with. 

When you first allow yourself to give love, and then allow yourself to receive Mind, Body and Soul love...the two people become like that third example of candles.  You burn together a flame twice as bright as all others and are able to live a normal life span.

All of this starts with just two words.  Trust and Effort.  You have to see the person in front of you for all the right reasons and realities.

It could all start with a simple hello, or a look, or a feeling.  It could start from a mere passing by.  In the end it will be the effort of words and deeds together that will build that trust.  That trust will build a future.  That future of everlasting Mind, Body and Soul love.

"Love And Happiness"

Love and Happiness.

What a concept.  They don't always have to go together.  But they are sure great when you can get them both going at the same time.

You can love someone, and just simply not be happy with them in a certain moment.  You most definitely can be happy and simply not necessarily be in love.  But when you are in Love and Happy...it is a drug like no other.  Nothing can match that high that you will get from being both in Love and Happily in Love. 

Love and Happiness.  It is the one drug that we should all experiment with.

"What's Love Got To Do With It?"

It is amazing to see how we are born into the world carried and cradled...and if we're lucky we can leave this world carried out by those remaining in this life.  In between it all comes all the hopes and heartbreaks of love gained and love lost.

Sometimes I wonder, why all of the pain in between those moments.  Do they really help us grow all the time?  People who you thought were friends, aren't really all that understanding of you anyway.  Relatives who use the name of family as if it were a badge to try to use you for whatever they can gain.

Even more disheartening, is when someone you're in love with turns around and hurts you.  They either break your heart with a selfish, demeaning, or dismissive behaviors.  Or even worse, they leave you.  Or if your relation with your own son or daughter, mother or father isn't a good one...how much it will pain your heart when you fight and leave one another.

So what the heck does love have to do with all of this pain?

I guess when you think about it, through all of these thoughts there is just one thread...and that is the word love.  The pain we feel is because of the love we have for the other person.  Without that love, we could not feel any pain.  It's hard to admit that we loved that other person and that's why they have hurt us, but at the end of the day, the reality is that we opened ourselves up to them and therefore allowed them to hurt us.  But it all started with love for that person. 

I guess that's what love has to do with this whole thing.  It's the risks that we take.  Some risks that reward us.  Some that don't.  It doesn't matter.  It's really the actual growth in extending ourselves and finding our own souls being moved or made to feel comfortable and significant around another soul close to us.  Or one that we wish to feel closer to. 

When things are going well, it's all so so sweet and beautiful.  It is easy to share and keep giving that love.  But when things get bad and painful, we want to retract that love back.  We feel angry and hurt for giving that love.

Love has everything to do with it.  And so does risk.  We have to love ourselves enough to take some risks.  Otherwise we'll just pass through this world never knowing our potential or finding meaning to our lives. 

One door opens and as another one closes.  We end one relationship, no matter how painful only to allow ourselves to find a better one.

We are saddened about a love that we lost, perhaps we will learn how to better handle a better love that comes into our lives?

And so it goes.  Just as when we were born.  We all want to feel loved, wanted and appreciated by someone.  We all want to have some kind of meaning and significance to someone around us.  We just must chose our risks wisely and remember to appreciate love.

Love Or Lust Isn't Cheap...(humor)

I just can't resist sharing some humor about the cost of love and or lust.

Some men are so cheap.  In tough economic times, and no matter how many social advances women collectively around the world...chivalry must never die.  Gentlemen, if you take a woman out to lunch or dinner and there's no preset agreement to "go dutch", aka you both pay equally for the bill, then expect to pay the bill.  Unless of course she's a CEO for some billion dollar technology company and invited you to her company commissary.  Even then, it can and should feel awkward to have the woman pay your way.

I remember hearing a story a few years back where a woman was having a bad time with her long time boyfriend, and decided to break up for a while.  While she "ventured" she ran into an old male from her high school days and decided to get involved with him.  Well, this rebound relationship didn't work out to well and it was over within a month.

When the moment of truth came to call off the relationship, the man in question accepted that the fling was indeed over.  However, upon his exit from the discussion, he turned and cited some unpaid bills for lunch that she owed him.  Basically he was asking her to pay him back for some quick lunch grabs from a fast food eatery like McDonald's...or so the story goes.  Either way he deserves a definite slap on the back of his neck for doing so.

From the time we men are young boys, we always know that we have to spend some money to attract and affirm the attention of the female we're focusing our amorous feelings on.  In the early teen years we even ask our parents (or other caregiver) to provide us with some extra spending money so that we can make a nice impression on that woman.  As we mature, and come into our own, making our own money, it's all pretty much the same.  We "give" in order to hopefully receive.  The only thing that really changes this formula is when the woman in question is needy and greedy and is just using the man to obtain monetary things.  Her side of the relationship is absent of love of any kind, and trading in her body for materialistic things is in full swing.

All of that being said...once the relationship is over...it is over.  For a man to go back and try to bill a woman for meals...is pretty ridiculous.  And to answer your question about the guy above - no they didn't "go dutch".  What this guy was thinking, I'll never know.  But I do know that he made it a little harder for the rest of us men.  Do we now have to negotiate a payment plan when we take a woman of our interest out to dinner?  Are there food values placed on a good night kiss?  How much does a turkey dinner get you as opposed to a breakfast sandwich?  How much does she have to eat for you to earn a walk up to her to her apartment door?  Does prime rib automatically get you sex?  Better yet, does she split the gas bill if you pick her up and drop her off?  Oh brother.  It goes on and on.

Have a little bit more chivalry gentlemen.  Love and lust are not cheap.

The Power Of Love

Every time she enters the room, no matter how crowded it is, I can feel her enter the room.  Our eyes automatically find each other and we just wait for the moment when we will be within kissing range.  That kiss "hello" or "I missed you" or even "I love you".  You wanted so much to see her the night before that you couldn't sleep.  Now that you have her with you, you can't let her slip your sight.  Her eyes, her smile, her laugh, her hair...you see it all in your mind.  Just the smell of her!

When you kiss her lips...you feel the power...the power of love.

It is amazing...this power of love.  We can extend it through our eyes, our hands, our lips even the sound of our voices.  Eyes are beautiful.  Lips are like forever. But there is something about the hands...the touch that is everlasting.

There is no greater extending of the power of love than through our hands.  Whether that love is for our lovers, our children, our siblings or our friends.  There is nothing greater than extending that love through some form of touch with the hands.

We can never forget the hugs from our mothers, fathers, sisters, brothers or best friends.  We never can forget the handshake from a friend we haven't seen in a long time.  How can we forget holding our child's hands for their first walks with us around the house or outside on a sidewalk or in a park?  Is there anything more electric when we caress the hand or back of someone we love who is in deep emotional pain?

How about the time when we grabbed our friends while having a good laugh?  Or when we were startled about something?  Giving high fives to strangers in an arena or stadium when our mutually loved team is winning or makes a winning play?  We are sharing...sharing that power of love.  The love for pulling for one another...supporting one another...feeling one another's joy or pain.

That is the power...of Love.

Peace, Love and Joy onto you and all of your loved ones this weekend.  In this fast pace life that we live in...please do not forget to share the power of love with those who matter to you most in your life.

Sweet Words...

A coworker was talking to me last weekend about his cruise ship trip with his family.  I remember going on mine with my family back in 2008.  It was a really nice trip.  My coworker and his family had a good time.  What fascinated both him (and me when I went) was how courteous the ship's crew was to him and his family.  He couldn't believe just how polite and helpful that they were.  I told him that I remembered that too from my trip and tried to incorporate the very courteous, respectful and helpful language that I too was treated with, back at work and the public we deal with.

It lasted for a while, but here in New York, it became evident that being too helpful meant that some folks weren't going to stop pushing for more things...things that we were unable to help them with.  So I had to learn to cut certain things short lest that person have me doing something completely outside of my job and workplace.  They needed to call an outside agency or clearly get in contact with another department.

My coworker said that the realization kicked in much sooner for him.  Once he got off the boat, got in a cab in Florida, then the airport and flew back to New York...the realities of our area hit him real quick.  The cab driver who pulled up to take them back to Long Island, refused to get out of his cab in the frigid weather and help put the luggage from his wife and two kids into the trunk.  He sat in the cab the whole time.  Then when they got in, he simply drove them to their location.

I'm sure they left that cab driver a nice tip too. 

Sweet Words.  Sweet Words can never go bad like a piece of fruit.  You can never have too much of it like sugar in your coffee.  Sweet Words quiet down all complaints, aches, ills and anger.

Please
Thank you
I'm sorry, is there anything else I can do for you?
No it's my fault.
Hi, how can I help you?

You wonder why we don't use these words more in relationships and friendships?  You wonder why we have to wait for customer service over the phone or on a ship to be received so well?  We all know that there are mean souls in this world who take kindness for a weakness.  However, that should not prevent us from being kind to one another.  Especially when that person is our significant other, our siblings or our own children.  We should try harder to use Sweet Words.  It is an art...an art we should all aspire to become masters at towards our loved ones.
 

Do You Remember?

Do you remember your first crush?  I remember mine.  I was just a little boy.  The summer between my first and second grade.  She was a teenage girl helping out in a summer school for advanced kids who could read.  I just remember that feeling...that feeling of always wanting her attention, her affection.  It was so different from how I felt about my mother, sister, aunt or female peers.  I knew this girl...was a pretty woman who simply grabbed my attention right from the beginning.

Yes, that first crush.  You walk around dreamy eyed, thinking about that particular person.  Most times that first crush is about someone you probably have no chance of being with or expressing love to.  It's just that their being stirs something inside you.  It's all biological, biochemical.  Some could argue that it's all just mental and emotional, depending on your age.

I have to disagree with that.  Perhaps its all the above?  I just know for me it was visual and biochemical.  After a while she knew I had a crush on her and seemed embarrassed, but she handled it pretty good.  She entertained me, but kept me at a distance too.  I was just a kid.  Wherever she is today I thank her for that gentleness.  It made a difference later on as I had to deal with someone having a crush on me.  I learned how to be kind, gentle and appreciative while still keeping the distance.  It wasn't in me to take advantage or abuse someone substantially younger or someone that I had absolutely no interest in being with.

It's amazing how those life lessons come back to you in ways that you never even dreamed of them happening.  Treating others with kindness even if you have to keep your distance.  Having respect for them and for yourself.  Then came that moment when both parties realized what was happening and simply had a healthy and positive friendship instead of an interaction that devolved into negativity.